For Church Leaders Fighting Against Porn Addiction

If you’re a pastor, it can be a hard question to ask.  

“How can I break free from my addiction to pornography?”

If this is you, we want you to know that you aren’t alone, you can overcome this with Jesus, and we’re here to help. 

In this post, learn four steps you can take as a pastor struggling with pornography—or use them to help your attenders make it through themselves.

Step 1: Put it in the light. 

When you hide your addiction in the dark, sin has all the power. And there’s only one winner: Satan. 

Sharing your struggle with someone is the first step to overcoming it. Identify a trusted person—it could be your spouse, small group friend, parents, another pastor, or mentor—and admit the struggle.

We know it’s difficult. Push through the fear, text that trusted person, and set up a time to talk with them ASAP. There is strength in numbers. When we share our struggles, we go from fighting alone to being surrounded by allies.

Here are three passages from scripture to help you in this step of the process:

Again I say to you that if two of you agree on earth concerning anything that they ask, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered together in My name, I am there in the midst of them. —Matthew 18:19-20

Then Jesus again spoke to them, saying, “I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life.” —John 8:12 

Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. —James 5:16

Step 2: Set strict boundaries.  

Sometimes you’ll feel too weak to make the right decision. That’s normal. But it’s also fixable. 

Before these moments of temptation kick in, get intentional about creating boundaries that protect you from your own weaknesses. 

Two keys will make your boundaries succeed:

1. They must be strict: Playing close to the edge will eventually result in disaster. Set boundaries strict enough to keep you far from the line.

2. They must be shared: A boundary without accountability is like a shock collar that’s out of batteries. 

You can’t beat porn by willpower alone, and willpower doesn’t last forever. But willpower is strong today. Use today’s willpower to overcome tomorrow’s temptation. 

Try these boundaries or create new ones unique to you:

• Switch from a smartphone to a “dumb phone” that doesn’t have browser capability
• Give a friend a login to your social media accounts, or create a new account jointly with someone
• Allow an accountability partner to see your bank or card statements
• Move your family computer to the living room 
• Keep your phone unlocked and let your spouse or friend know they have permission to look at it any time without askings
• Try Covenant Eyes, a great program to help with filtering and accountability. 

Strict boundaries may feel like a hassle, and they might slow you down or feel inconvenient. And that’s a good thing—slow and inconvenient are roadblocks to temptation. Remember, you have to do something you’ve never done to have the results you’ve never had. 

Here’s a passage to remember as you work through this step of the process:

For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age…—Titus 2:11-12

Step 3: Pursue consistent accountability. 

Ministry can feel isolating, and it can be hard to be vulnerable when you know you’re a role model. And that’s all the more reason you need someone of the same sex who’s strong in their faith that you can be completely honest with.

This person must be empowered to ask you the hard questions throughout your journey. Even when you’ve messed up, you must resolve to answer their questions honestly.

Identify that person (maybe it’s the same person from step one) and arm them with these questions to ask you every week: 

1. How did you press into God this week?
2. How were you tempted this week?
3. Is there anything you’ve hidden that you need to tell me?

Here is a passage to remember as you put this step into action: 

Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. —Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Step 4: Seek God.  

As you remove pornography from your life, it’s critical that you add in more of God.

Discover how He loves you and accepts you. Deepen your relationship with Him daily. 

God is the only one who brings true healing, restoration, and freedom. Ask him to heal the root issue in your life that led you to porn in the first place. 

Begin to read about sexual immorality in God’s word and what God has to say about it. 

Pray that he would bring freedom and healing to your mind.  

Here are two passages to memorize and use as you battle and overcome a porn addiction:

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. —Matthew 6:33

So if the Son makes you free, you will be free indeed. —John 8:36

We hope this post is helpful for you if you’re struggling. If you want more practice in becoming who God says you are, Pastor Craig Groeschel walks us through his exercise for finding God’s words to live by in this post. 

Remember: God is faithful.

He loves you and accepts you just as you are. 

We are praying that truth sinks in deep as you begin to find freedom in Jesus. 

Help Others Find Freedom as Well

It’s a reality: pornography is also a big issue for your attenders. Once you find healing, help your church through it, too. 

Or maybe you’re not struggling with porn yourself but you’re carrying the burden to help your attenders be set free from its trap. Dig in deeper with even more practical tools for conquering porn with this post “How to Stop Watching Porn for Good” and share it with your church.

We’d love to equip you to lead your entire congregation toward freedom with a collection of sermon outlines, graphics, and videos that will help you build out your message.